Now I Ain’t Sayin’ I’m a Gold Digger, but…..

I was recently reading an article on CNN titled Top Ten Millionaire Counties. It lists the counties in the country that have the highest concentration of millionaires. As to be expected, LA County was #1 on the list. But to my surprise, Harris County was #6 with 96,593 millionaire households! So, this got me thinking…. “What does that mean to a single woman?” So I decided to do a little research and crunch some numbers…..

Here are the facts based on census information: 25% of all households are single person (individual) households. 49.2% of the population is male. 26% of the population is between the ages of 20 and 34. If you apply these straightforward numbers to the number of millionaire households, that means that there are approximately 3,100 single male millionaires living in Harris County.

But we do need to be realistic….. In this day & age we know that on average women are paid less than their male counterparts. There are probably significantly more male than female millionaires. Also, I highly doubt that 26% of the millionaires are between the ages of 20 and 34. So based on my own estimates, I’d have to say that there are maybe 400 single male millionaires in the county. (But then you have to ask yourself “How many of them are gay, bisexual, or on the down low?”)

So where are all of the straight millionaire bachelors? My guess is probably hanging out somewhere that we can’t afford. But one of my friends did make an interesting point… All you may need is that 1 chance to go to one of these places and you might hit it big. All you have to do is take out a loan in the mean time. Don’t worry. Hopefully you’ll be able to pay it back soon! lol

I do feel the need to make sure that everyone understands that I’m not a gold digger. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with looking for someone who is financially stable, career driven and goal oriented, and is or could potentially be successful. I can’t help it if millionaires fall into this category. ;-)

America's Most Wanted Take Down

*This is a fictitious story
Let me tell you about this ride or die chick they call Vicious V…. She’s been trying to be a rapper for a few years but hasn’t quite been able to make a name for herself in the music industry yet. This was in part because she had been connected to a bank heist and a murder. So she went on the run.

But she’s not on the run anymore. One of my homeboys was in NY last month when she tried to mug him. (Man, this chick is bold!) He took her down and waited for NYPD to show up and handcuff her. They booked her, charged her, and she was convicted. She was then assigned to be Lil’ Kim’s cellmate. (Maybe now Vicious V will be able to get into the rap game…)

But here’s the funny thing… When you look at the picture my friend took right before she was arrested, she is definitely mean muggin’ like she’s not someone you want to mess with. It turns out she was just acting like she was from the mean streets of the 5th ward…. She’s really from the mountains of Colorado.

Don't Be a Disposal Well

Nicole met this guy named David through a mutual friend at a birthday get-together. They hit it off from the get go, talked the whole night and exchanged numbers. They ended up seeing each other the very next day to eat and see a movie. Things were going great. David was a good looking guy, an engineer for a leading oil & gas company, nice car, great sense of style, very attentive and could carry on a conversation.

He managed to only say 1 weird thing on that 1st date… OK, you know how sometimes someone might make a comment like “don’t be a playa hater” or “don’t be such a scaredy cat” or “don’t be so naïve”? (or “Don’t be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood” – lol) Well while they were talking, this fool said “don’t be a disposal well”. Ummmm….. I don’t get it. (It came apparent to everyone later that he feels the need to constantly remind everyone that he’s an engineer and that he works for an oil company.)

During the following week David made Nicole a cheesecake (her favorite dessert) and even went to a friend’s housewarming with her that Friday. And that’s when things started going totally wrong…..

So, instead of the usual intense game of Taboo, the group decided to do something different. Everyone wrote down topics (anonymously) that they wanted to talk about on a piece of paper. Then they were drawn out 1 by 1 and discussed by the group. As to be expected, there were topics pulled out that dealt with race, dating, men vs. women, religion, etc. But as the fabulous hostess pulled the next topic, she got a real puzzled look on her face. The piece of paper just said “HVAC”. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Apparently no one else in the room got it either. Later we found out that David was the one who had written it. Okay weirdo. Is that some engineering technical term? Nobody wants to talk about that stuff at a party.

While at the party, the group started talking about their company party coming up the following Friday. That’s when she asked him if he would like to go. He said yes. They were talking on the phone Sunday about what they had planned the rest of the week. He starts talking about how he was taking a half day of vacation on Friday because he had to go out of town. (Nicole paused… “Wait a minute. Back up. Did he just say he’s going out of town on Friday?”) So she says “Um, so I guess that means you’re not going to the party with me on Friday.” And he says “I guess not.”

What is this dude’s problem? So, when was he going to tell her? He had more than ample opportunity to say to her “By the way… I’m really sorry about this, but I won’t be able to go to the party with you anymore. I just found out I have to go out of town.” But those words, to this day, still have not come out of his mouth. Boooooooo!

Now who knows what really happened. Was he just totally intimidated by this fabulous sista who has it together? Did their mutual friend tell David some lies trying to playa hate? Who knows? But what we do know is that THIS BOY IS WACK!

R&B Thug

(*Note: Names in this story have not been changed)
Last night Kristle and I went to the R. Kelly concert. Now, he’s no Brian McKnight, but he’s put out at lot of good music and I figured he’d put on a good show. So I went with one of his biggest fans… Let me say right now that I wouldn't have had nearly as much fun if I had gone with anyone else! LoL

We get there, the show is sold out and we’re sitting in the balcony of Jones Hall. Now if we hadn’t had floor seats for Alvin Ailey at the same venue a few weeks earlier, we probably wouldn’t have had a problem being so high up. But on the other hand, I had been to a concert in the Superdome so I really wasn’t complaining. Now we’re sitting in our seats waiting for the show to begin. Our seats were actually in the 2nd row of the balcony but the railing was kind of obstructing our view of the stage. So Kristle is sitting there trying to figure out how she’s going to see R. Kelly without standing up the whole time (‘cause y’all know her knees bother her except when she’s trying to get her mack on at the club). Her solution… She props herself up with her purse.

So, we were in our seats before the show start time which was 8 o’clock. Now you know most of the time concerts don’t start exactly on time and they usually have an opening act. Well, I was pissed because he had no opening act and then his behind didn’t even start the show ‘til 9 (like people don’t have to go to work the next day). Thoughts of his extreme tardiness quickly fade in the minds of the fans in the crowd as soon as they turned the house lights off. That’s when I start cracking up laughing. "Why?" you ask… Not only is Kristle screaming in my ear, but all of his other #1 fans up in the balcony with us are try to take pictures in the dark with their camera phones. Uh, no.

When R. Kelly finally comes out I’m thinking from the get-go "This man is definitely an entertainer". But then I had to boo him for a second when his ‘new name’ was lowered from the ceiling in lights… "Mr. Showbiz". (OK, you’re not Prince) But I was having a really good time. Every song he did I was like "Ooooooh, that’s the jam!" Wonderful, Thoia Thoing, Fiesta, Ignition…. And then he had a little interlude for his first wardrobe change... Tell me why when he came back out about 10 minutes later all he had done was put on a leather jacket!

Now, my biggest fear about sitting through this concert was that he was going to perform chapters 1 – 52 of Trapped in the Closet. Surprisingly he only did the 1st 3. I was about to fall asleep during the 1st 2 chapters because it was just him on the stage doing it Milli Vanilli style. But ooooooh when he got to chapter 3 and he was playing Chuck… You would have sworn it was Miss J (who is a guy) from America’s Next Top Model out there! He was switchin’ it all right! LoL.

Here are some of the other memorable moments from the concert:

• He did an opera (No, I didn’t say hip hopera like Carmen starring Beyonce. I’m talkin’ Pavarotti) version of Feelin’ on Your Booty
  
• Kristle screaming "Take it off honey!" and jumping out of her seat every 5 minutes to jig to every song
  
• Preview of a new song titled "Zoo". It sounded tight. Analogy was kind of weird. I just remember something about I’m a lion, you’re a tiger, we’re 2 heated animals, I’m gonna make you wet like the rainforest. (That’s when I turned to Kristle and said "Did he just say what I think he said?") But it was too much when he did a "Cole from Martin bird call" after each verse. (Ooh, ooh, oooh, ah, ah, ah!)
  
• They did an ATL dance interlude and R. Kelly was doin’ the dang thing. I didn’t know Chingy had taught R. how to do the chicken dance after Right Thurr came out!
  
• At about 10:30 he closed the concert out with "Happy People" and thanked the audience for hanging out with him for the last 2 hours. Um, no dude. You didn’t even come out on stage until 9.

R. Kelly truly put on a show last night. And I didn't realize this until last night, but he has so many great songs that he doesn't have enough time to pack 'em all into one concert. And I must say that his voice sounds as good if not better than his album recordings. I can't say that for everyone I've seen live.... Overall it was a very entertaining concert. And he didn’t pee on anyone.

Know Who You’re Dealing With

Now my mother always told me “If you don’t know somebody, you better know someone who does”. She makes a really good point. Especially when you first meet someone you really have no clue what this person is about. I really don’t see anything wrong with asking questions and doing some investigating. Here are some perfect examples…..

1.) I met a guy at the club. Now y’all know I have a thing for accents and where was he from… Jamaica. We talked, exchanged numbers, but then I came to my senses a couple days later… “I don’t pick up guys in the club and I don’t want him to get the wrong impression of me.” But I was still going to be nice and see what happened. Well one day he left a message. I decided to “get envelope information” from his message because my phone had been off so I didn’t see what time he had called. You know how when you first setup your voicemail it asks you to record your name? Well, it plays that recording when someone retrieves information about your messages. I heard his recording of his name and not only did his voice not sound Jamaican, but it wasn’t the name he gave me!
2.) Bridget met this guy at a party who was in grad school. They had a nice conversation, exchanged numbers, and planned to possibly hang out in the future. During one of their conversations the next week he was saying something about a school holiday and when finals were. Something just didn’t feel right with him overall, so I went to the school’s website to check the academic calendar for her. After I looked at the calendar I said “Girl, he is lying to you!” LoL. What he said didn’t match up with the academic calendar. Now was he really in school?.......
3.) We’ve all heard these crazy stories about women who marry men without truly knowing who they are. “I never would have thought he was a serial killer. But you know, come to think of it, I never met his relatives or his friends.” All of this after she just found out that he had been previously married and killed his first family. What is wrong with people?!

Lesson learned: There’s nothing wrong with googling someone’s name (don’t act like you haven’t done it before) or using any other means to investigate someone when you want to find out if they’re legit. It’s better to know if someone is BSing you from the get-go.

Random Dating Tips

Now, I know I’m not the only one that has had trials and tribulations while being on the dating scene. And some of my learning experiences are best expressed by one-liners instead of short stories. So, every once in a while I may throw in something that’s rubbed myself or someone I know the wrong way while on a date. Please don't do these!

• Wearing wool pants during the summer
• Using a credit card to pay at the movies and when you go to get ice cream afterwards (You don’t need to go on a date if you have to put everything on your credit card because you have no money in your checking account.)
• Giving a woman a showerhead for Valentine’s Day
• Starting to plan your 2nd, 3rd, & 4th dates when you’re halfway through the meal on your first date.

I'll Marry You If You Want Me To

Now there is this couple (we’ll call them Ann & Bob). Now like most serious couples, Ann and Bob had casually/hypothetically talked about getting married on several occasions. Although they were in love, the fact that it was eventually long-distance put too much strain on the relationship. So they broke up but still remained friends.
So one evening Ann & Bob were having one of these hypothetical marriage talks thrown in with comments about how they were still in love but lived so far apart. Bob then says “I’ll marry you if you want me to.”
Now you know I had plenty to say about that…. 1.) How does someone go from ex-boyfriend to fiancée in 2.4 seconds flat? 2) There is a lot more to marriage than just saying “I do”. And getting married won’t automatically fix everything. 3) “I’ll marry you if you want me to” is what guys say when they get a girl knocked up and that definitely was not the case in this situation. 4) Women dream about their proposal & wedding beginning when they are little. Newsflash: Saying it like that isn’t exactly what little girls dream of.
But something good has come out of this situation. My friend Juanito & I realized that we need to write a book about all of the stupid things that people say when they’re dating. Now we have a title….

SPITGATE

This past week, most of us had the pleasure of seeing one of the top 5 reality TV moments of all time aka Spitgate. We should have known that Flavor of Love would produce such a moment because it's just a totally crazy concept to begin with. 20 or so women vying for the love and affection of the only man on the planet who has a wall clock on a chain as a staple of his wardrobe, Flavor Flav.
It's down to the final 3: "Hoopz" who seems to have way too much going for her to be on this show, "New York" who has so many personal issues that she actually thinks that she's in love with him and "Pumkin" who's appearances on Street Smarts, Wheel of Fortune, and Blind Date make it clear that she just wants to be on TV. After Pumkin is eliminated she tells New York that she can slap her now that she's off the show. Then her response to New York's "well go ahead and slap me b****" was hocking a huge loogey at her. New York's claws immediately came out to take her down.
I was crackin' up! Pumkin did exactly what all of the other girls had wanted to do the entire season. It's wrong to spit in someone's face. But in this case, New York (with her extremely nasty attitude) truly deserved what she got. FLAVOR FLAV!

ANTM-Cycle 6

I’ve been a fan of America’s Next Top Model from Season 1 so I was all ready for a great start to Season 6 this week (despite the fact that I was slightly disappointed in the outcome of last season). But I never expected this much drama on the first episode of the season.
In the first two hours we already have a preacher’s daughter turned cage dancer, an alcoholic and a straight up racist. Does anyone else see anything wrong with this? So, it’s not like the whole scenario of a preacher’s kid rebelling is new. But she’s on national television talking about how she respects what her father does but he has no idea that she was an amateur stripper. (Well honey, I’m sure him and his whole congregation know now.) And anyone with any sense knows that when you get in a competition or work related situation, you do not chug down glass after glass of champagne on the first night.
You know how sometimes people embarrass you even though you don’t know them? Well, unfortunately the crazy girl making racist comments on episode 1 was from the Houston area (Spring to be exact). She said affirmative action is the stupidest thing that she’s ever heard of. And then while in a discussion with one of the other girls who was trying to make a point about being the only black person there when she was working at Abercrombie & Fitch…. She proceeded to say something to the effect of “Why would black people be going into Abercrombie? You wouldn’t see me working at a FUBU store.” Excuse me! Would you wear any of the clothes that any of the other black ANTM contestants have on (or Tyra for that matter)? Then that means that it’s quite possible that y’all have the same tastes and shop at the same types of stores.

Oscars 2006

Normally I don’t sit and watch the Academy Awards. I’m very content finding out the winners and the best/worst dress thru other media the next day. But this year I had to wait for the performance of the whole show… Three 6 Mafia performing “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp” from Hustle & Flow. I was just too through when I saw it was nominated for an Oscar but knew the performance would be classic. Overall, I was pretty content with the performance. But then to the shock of most people across America, they actually won! I’m thinking that’s kind of crazy, but good for them. Here’s where I got annoyed… They got up there to accept the award, grills and all, like they were on the Source or Vibe Awards. Shame on their manager for not prepping them and telling them they needed to bring it down a notch for the night.

Mr. Big Brother

So, I had been talking to this guy Sean. We had been talking on the phone and went out to dinner once. Seemed cool, we had a lot to talk about, and he’s one of those people who "looks good on paper". There was just 1 thing…. In college he was an athlete. Being that I was a collegiate student-athlete myself and 95% of my guy friends from college were athletes, I know his type… Mr. "I Think I’m a MacDaddy and Can Get All the Honeys Because I’m An All-Star Athlete" (1st red flag)
Well, after that date I hadn’t seen him for a while because he had been out of town. But he gave me a call when he got back one Sunday about 12:30 p.m.. He asked what I was up to that day. I said "Not too much. I might go run a few errands." Then Sean said "Well, I’m on my way to church. Service started at noon. But I was wondering if I could come by afterwards." I said "Yeah, just give me a call to make sure I’m home. Umm… Aren’t you a little late for church?" His response: "I only go to church to put my offering in the plate." (2nd red flag)
I didn’t end up running any errands, so I was just chillin’ at home when he called (let’s say about 2:30). (Now, at this point I’m under the impression that he was going to call when he got out of church to make sure I was home and let me know he was on his way.) When I pick up the phone, Sean says "Are you home, because I’m actually on your street." What the hell?! Ok, I’m not exactly sure where his church is but 1.) He lives in a different city and 2.) There aren’t any churches on my street close to me. (3rd red flag)
So literally 3 minutes later he shows up. After a while it was apparent why he had stopped by… He proceeds to try and put the moves on me using all of those typical lines that guys use… "Come on. I’ll cook you breakfast in the morning." "I’ll give you a massage." "I know it may have been a while for you…." Trust me, I’ve heard it all. And I gave him my usual answer, "If that’s what you came over here for, then I am not the one." Basically, so far, the conversation isn’t anything out of the ordinary.
But then he made the statement of all statements out of my 8 or so years of dating…. "COME ON. IF I JUST WANTED TO HANG OUT, I’D GO HANG OUT WITH MY LITTLE SISTER." Wow. So you’re going to show up at my place (after we’ve only been on one date) for a booty call on your way home from church and insult my intelligence and moral upbringing? I don’t think so. Homey don’t play dat.
So, to sum it up…. Sean looked good on paper.. had a few red flags but I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt… turned out to be the biggest jerk I have ever met in my life. And that’s my story.