Hot Mess Award: Week of 7-17-06

1. President Bush - Not that we need our Commander in Chief to forget that his mic is on during a luncheon to hear him make inappropriate comments, but it happened anyway.

2. Anyone who thinks Oprah and her best friend are gay. Did we forget about Steadman? Can't two women just be friends? And besides, why on Earth is this topic even an issue? So what if they are? Don't you have something better to talk about?

3. Oprah and Gayle. Did y'all really need to discuss that during an interview for O Magazine? Seriously? I had never even heard that rumor until now.



And the winner is... The people who keep sending my friends to Midland to work for a year. Okay, I understand that people are just doing their job, but still...

Hot Mess Award: Week of 7-10-06

1. The idiot that pulled the fire alarm at my apartment building at 10 p.m. for no damn reason.
2. Couples who dress alike: I went to the Skybar on Wednesday and there was a couple that was dressed alike. Normally this wouldn’t be too bad but… Their outfits were a tropical montage of yellow, orange and red. And each of them even had on their matching fire red shoes.
3. People that I see at work who need to be on TLC’s makeover show What Not to Wear.

And the winner is... The new management at 104.1 KRBE: This is one of the top radio stations in the state and on Friday they fired the morning show team, Atom & Maria, without any warning. They did their show, were given their walking papers right after they were done, had their e-mail cut off that day. I’m sorry, but they really could have given them a heads up. 104 is just a mess right now! They've lost all of their top DJs this year... Sam Malone, Atom Smasher, Maria Todd & Scott Sparks. Get it together!!!

My 1st Trip to Europe

As mentioned in my previous entry, I recently attended a conference in London and then took a couple of days to go to Paris. I had a fabulous time seeing all of the sites! And Europe is so rich with culture, history and beautiful architecture. I wouldn’t trade last week for anything!! But I don't want to use this to tell you about all of the tourist stops I made. I feel the need to comment on everything else. LoL. I apologize now for the length of these entries, but I was there for a week and so much happened! But, to make things easier, I’ve split things up as best I could…

I’ll Never Fly Coach Again! - OK, I guess I probably will since I’m not “big ballin”, but that’s the way I felt after my trip over there. I was able to fly business first since it was for work. I had flown 1st class before, but this took the cake. What service! My own TV to watch & I swear dinner & breakfast were 5 courses each. And then I reclined my seat all the way back… That was the best night’s sleep I had had in 2 weeks. And just another note, if you ever fly business class you don’t need to pack any toiletries. They give you everything you need!

Fanatics! - It was totally cool to be in Europe (specifically England and France) while Wimbledon, Tour de France, Running of the Bulls and the World Cup were all going on. And I thought Texans were crazy about their football. We’ve got nothin’ on Europeans and their soccer! It was absolutely crazy! So, as I heard so many times during my trip… England ‘til I die! Vive la France!

Haute Couture – Well, not quite. I could definitely tell I wasn’t in America anymore when I took notice of the fashion. I can’t count how many girls I saw with leggings and denim mini skirts on. And a lot of men in Paris carry what we would call a “man purse”. As 1 of my friends pointed out, maybe it’s because guys there wear their pants so much tighter than here and they don’t have any room to put stuff in their pockets.

Bon Appetite! – I really was not too happy with the food in London. Breakfast at our hotel was probably the worst. Blood sausage, uncooked bacon, pork & beans? And then the juice glasses were the size of shot glasses. So by the time you were done eating you had about 50 glasses on the table! I was worried while I was there because of the bad food, very small portions (I guess everything IS bigger in Texas) and all the walking I was doing. I can’t afford to lose any weight! LoL! The food in Paris was sooo much better (except for the hard bread, aka baguettes.) Yay quiches & crepes! Unfortunately in both London & Paris they don’t give you free refills on drinks (even water) and everything is so darn expense! How many of you can say you’ve had a $25 hamburger?

Things you won’t find in London and/or Paris (based on my experience): washcloths, outlets in the bathroom, whole shower doors, trash cans, A/C, fans, real bacon, big anything (including drinking glasses & people), street signs (Where we expect to see street signs, they just point you in the direction of landmarks. The street names are actually on the buildings), ice, syrup, notecards (everyone that gave a speech at the conference used regular 8 ½ x 11 paper) and seemingly crosswalks sometimes

Europe Continued...

The Runaway Cab - So, we’re about to start loading up the cab to go to the train station. Earnest puts his backpack in the trunk, turns around to pick up the suitcase & bam! The cab driver slams on the gas and takes off down the street with the trunk hatch still open!!! We’re all looking at each other like “Did we just get ripped off? Did he just steal Earnest’s backpack? How are we gonna get to the train station?” The hotel hostess then explains to us that a car had tried to pass the cab and knocked the side-view mirror off. So the cabby took off to chase the guy down. Total craziness!! Luckily, he found a witness, returned to take us to the train & Earnest’s backpack hadn’t fallen out of the trunk during the chase.

The craziest/funniest thing we saw – We were riding the subway in London when this older couple got on with a baby a stroller. Not out of the ordinary, except that the baby was looking around the entire ride all crazy. I swear if the baby could talk he would have said “I don’t know these people and I don’t know where I am. Please call the police because I’ve been kidnapped!” And honestly, I didn’t know that babies that age could make facial expressions like that but this one did.

Craig David – For those of you who don’t know, I am a HUGE Craig David fan. When I found out I’d have a chance to go to London I was extra excited. He recently released an album (only available in the states on iTunes) so I figured he’d probably be on tour while I was in Europe. Unfortunately, he was on a break from his tour while I was over there. But there was 1 small consolation. 1 of the guys that I met at the conference not only knows the area where he lives, he also knows someone who went to school with him. So, now I can say I know somebody who knows somebody who knows Craig David! LoL

Randomness – Two funny things that I said while in Paris…
1. Our room is the size of a peanut! I hope the next one isn’t the size of a tic tac…(I really have an appreciation for our hotels here now!)
2. If there was a fire in the Louvre, we’d burn up in here trying to find the exit!!! (We decided to skip half of the Egyptian exhibit. So we tried to follow the signs to the exit but they kept sending us in circles. It literally took us about 30 minutes to find our way out!)

And to wrap everything up, I have to give my shout outs to…

• Reuben – Our waiter at the London Hard Rock Café
• All of my friends from Induction
• The new friends I made while at the conference
• LJB – Have to thank the Lord
• Frederic & his Uncle Mike who lives in Paris for showing us around
• My travel companions, Earnest & Crystal. Earnest (aka Rasta Mon) was our photographer. Crystal was our linguistic expert (since I named her the keeper of my French phrase book). And I was the navigator and provided the audio commentary on the tours.

• 

I wouldn’t have had such a great time if I had gone with anyone else! You two are crazy funny! Much luv to y’all and remember… We’ll always have Paris! :)

Hot Mess Award - Europe Edition

These are all from my trip last week...

1. Me, Earnest & Crystal: Yes, I have to nominate myself and my travel companions. While we were in Europe we ate Burger King, McDonald’s and even went to Starbucks more than once.
2. Pick Pockets: Apparently the pick pockets are extremely bad in Paris. So bad, that when we went to the Eiffel Tower, they had a sign outside the elevator that told us to beware of them. Why in the hell would a pick pocket pay the admission fee to go up the Eiffel Tower? Hmm… Operating expenses I guess. (Is that tax deductible?)
3. Souvenir sellers outside Eiffel Tower: As soon as we exited, there were about 15 guys (I swear I’m not exaggerating) lined up all trying to sell the same light up Eiffel Tower. OK, if I didn’t buy one from your 80 other homies that tried to sell them to me before I went inside, and if I didn’t buy one from the 1st guy at the exit, what makes guy #15 think I want 1 from him?
4. Smokers: They were everywhere. I swear I thought I was going to die of second-hand smoke while I was over there.
5. Moulin Rouge: Probably the only place in the world where you can find a dentist’s office next door to a sex toy shop.
6. Bathrooms: A lot of the places are pay toilets only. And at one of the places we went to eat, Crystal actually had to use a code on the food receipt to get into the bathroom.
7. London clubs: You have to be on the guest list to get into seemingly every club.
8. Our Tour Guide: When we were taking a bus tour in London, the guide stopped at the convenience store. When he came out, he had a brown bag with some kind of beverage in it…





And the winner of Europe’s Hot Mess Award (literally) is the weather! Not only were they having a heat wave while we were there with temperatures up to the 90s, but most of the places don’t have A/C since it usually doesn’t get hot there.