Mr. Big Brother
So, I had been talking to this guy Sean. We had been talking on the phone and went out to dinner once. Seemed cool, we had a lot to talk about, and he’s one of those people who "looks good on paper". There was just 1 thing…. In college he was an athlete. Being that I was a collegiate student-athlete myself and 95% of my guy friends from college were athletes, I know his type… Mr. "I Think I’m a MacDaddy and Can Get All the Honeys Because I’m An All-Star Athlete" (1st red flag)
Well, after that date I hadn’t seen him for a while because he had been out of town. But he gave me a call when he got back one Sunday about 12:30 p.m.. He asked what I was up to that day. I said "Not too much. I might go run a few errands." Then Sean said "Well, I’m on my way to church. Service started at noon. But I was wondering if I could come by afterwards." I said "Yeah, just give me a call to make sure I’m home. Umm… Aren’t you a little late for church?" His response: "I only go to church to put my offering in the plate." (2nd red flag)
I didn’t end up running any errands, so I was just chillin’ at home when he called (let’s say about 2:30). (Now, at this point I’m under the impression that he was going to call when he got out of church to make sure I was home and let me know he was on his way.) When I pick up the phone, Sean says "Are you home, because I’m actually on your street." What the hell?! Ok, I’m not exactly sure where his church is but 1.) He lives in a different city and 2.) There aren’t any churches on my street close to me. (3rd red flag)
So literally 3 minutes later he shows up. After a while it was apparent why he had stopped by… He proceeds to try and put the moves on me using all of those typical lines that guys use… "Come on. I’ll cook you breakfast in the morning." "I’ll give you a massage." "I know it may have been a while for you…." Trust me, I’ve heard it all. And I gave him my usual answer, "If that’s what you came over here for, then I am not the one." Basically, so far, the conversation isn’t anything out of the ordinary.
But then he made the statement of all statements out of my 8 or so years of dating…. "COME ON. IF I JUST WANTED TO HANG OUT, I’D GO HANG OUT WITH MY LITTLE SISTER." Wow. So you’re going to show up at my place (after we’ve only been on one date) for a booty call on your way home from church and insult my intelligence and moral upbringing? I don’t think so. Homey don’t play dat.
So, to sum it up…. Sean looked good on paper.. had a few red flags but I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt… turned out to be the biggest jerk I have ever met in my life. And that’s my story.
Well, after that date I hadn’t seen him for a while because he had been out of town. But he gave me a call when he got back one Sunday about 12:30 p.m.. He asked what I was up to that day. I said "Not too much. I might go run a few errands." Then Sean said "Well, I’m on my way to church. Service started at noon. But I was wondering if I could come by afterwards." I said "Yeah, just give me a call to make sure I’m home. Umm… Aren’t you a little late for church?" His response: "I only go to church to put my offering in the plate." (2nd red flag)
I didn’t end up running any errands, so I was just chillin’ at home when he called (let’s say about 2:30). (Now, at this point I’m under the impression that he was going to call when he got out of church to make sure I was home and let me know he was on his way.) When I pick up the phone, Sean says "Are you home, because I’m actually on your street." What the hell?! Ok, I’m not exactly sure where his church is but 1.) He lives in a different city and 2.) There aren’t any churches on my street close to me. (3rd red flag)
So literally 3 minutes later he shows up. After a while it was apparent why he had stopped by… He proceeds to try and put the moves on me using all of those typical lines that guys use… "Come on. I’ll cook you breakfast in the morning." "I’ll give you a massage." "I know it may have been a while for you…." Trust me, I’ve heard it all. And I gave him my usual answer, "If that’s what you came over here for, then I am not the one." Basically, so far, the conversation isn’t anything out of the ordinary.
But then he made the statement of all statements out of my 8 or so years of dating…. "COME ON. IF I JUST WANTED TO HANG OUT, I’D GO HANG OUT WITH MY LITTLE SISTER." Wow. So you’re going to show up at my place (after we’ve only been on one date) for a booty call on your way home from church and insult my intelligence and moral upbringing? I don’t think so. Homey don’t play dat.
So, to sum it up…. Sean looked good on paper.. had a few red flags but I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt… turned out to be the biggest jerk I have ever met in my life. And that’s my story.
posted by Val @ 3/10/2006
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