In Da Club

I went to Hush this past Saturday. I had been meaning to go there since it opened and especially since it was voted one of the best singles clubs in Houston. I don’t know if I would exactly call it that, but it was definitely an interesting place to people watch. Therefore, I must give out a few awards to some of my fellow club goers…

The lame pick-up line of the night award goes to… "Lorenzo" who asked “Are you on My Space?”

Best dressed award goes to… Vince Young. It was his birthday and the brotha went all out. He looked like R. Kelly straight out of the Step in the Name of Love video. (There's nothing like a man in a nice 3-piece suit!)

Most unnecessary outfit accessory goes to… Sunglasses. I have never been able to understand this. Why on earth do people need to wear sunglasses in the club? It’s already dark in there to begin with. And it’s not like you’re some celebrity who needs to protect their eyes from the camera flashes of the paparazzi. Nobody knows who the hell you are.

Most surprising article of clothing that everyone was wearing... Hot pants. Apparently I didn’t get the memo that you have to wear booty shorts to the club to get noticed. Everyone was walking around that night like they were Amerie. This would be fine if everyone was Amerie’s size and if everyone realized that you’re supposed to buy shorts that are your size and not 8 sizes too small.

And the hot mess award goes to…… “Girl That Looks Like She Doesn’t Have a Shirt On”. Okay, now let me describe to you what this chick was wearing. Basically, it looked like she hung a 3 ½ inch wide scarf around her neck and strategically tucked the ends into her jeans to cover her chest. From the back she literally looked like she didn’t have a shirt on. But that’s not why she was a hot mess. Apparently she thought J. Lo’s green Versace dress from the 2000 Grammys stayed on all by itself. Hello! It’s called double-sided tape and obviously you should have picked up that crucial part of your wardrobe before you came to the club. As expected, a wardrobe malfunction was bound to happen… She was dancing with this guy near the booth where her girlfriends were sitting and I swear she turned to them and asked “Am I out?” Low and behold she was approximately 2 seconds later (straight up Janet Jackson style) and she had to adjust herself. A HOT MESS!